We all want to be the favorite colleague and with this article and a potent perfume you’ll be the office favorite!
#1: Always use voice-to-text in public areas.
If your colleagues didn’t know how busy your social life is and how you use excessive punctuation, they will now!!!! The key to this is to always make sure to use voice-text when your colleagues are present. It doesn’t matter if you’re setting up a babysitter or if you’re discussing your irregular bowel movements. This step will prove to your coworkers that you are popular, you are busy, and you can not put your coffee down to send a text. You’re on your way to the A-list now!
#2: Do your beauty regimen at your desk.
In order to really seduce your coworkers into thinking you’re a nominee for office beauty queen you have to look the part. Show your coworkers that you care about your appearance by taking care of yourself. Making sure you clip your fingernails at your desk is the perfect solution! The sound of your self-care will intrigue your colleagues and they won’t forget the work you put into making the office look and feel professional. Don’t clean up the clippings either; nail clippings are evidence of a job well done!
#3: Care about office wellness.
Health is important! Keep your coworkers on their toes and show you care by pointing out their (un)health(y) decisions. You can’t let Janice get away with eating her mixed green salad with almonds when it might not be organic! If necessary, march up to Janice and slap that disgusting salad right out of Janice’s conventional hands and mumble something important about processed foods. Your coworkers are begging you to insult what they eat and draw attention to chemicals in their foods.
#4: Share your story.
People want nothing more than to sit back with a cup of coffee and hear about an stranger’s problems! When you see someone drinking coffee and texting in the lounge interrupt them because they’re wasting your precious relationship building time. Tell them about your kids that have the stomach flu and your crazy uncle Eugene’s heart palpitations. This is an excellent ice-breaker for the new employee to get acquainted to the office space; tell them how you’re one sixteenth Greek and you love falafel. You’ll be unforgettable!
Being respected and well-known in the office is essential for a high quality of life! Don’t forget these four points and you’ll have a cheery welcome every time you show up at the office.
- Be loud with your texting and personal calls.
- Clip your nails in a shared common area.
- Smack Janice’s disgusting non-organic fruit salad to the ground.
- Overshare at all times.
Share some of your office pet peeves below! Thanks for reading!
Photo Credit: Daniel Nanescu @ splitshire.com