My (Gay) Wedding: You Can Eat Your Cakes and Have Them Too

Lavender stalks bundled with birch branches and wrapped in cord.

Black suits with silver ties.

Two silver rings engraved with a phrase. (One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them: One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.)

Classy black dresses and funny group photos.

Laughter, celebration, red wine, and Biblical prose! These are a few of my favorite things.

Forcing someone to make my cake with a fear of discrimination.


Not that.


For about two weeks now we’ve been talking about the Ten Thousand Places blog post, “Bake for Them Two” articulately crafted about the responsibility of Christians to rise above and do even more for those they feel at odds with, as Jesus would urge.

I read this.

Then I realized:

I, too, have important things to say about cake.

Moist chocolate cake with caramel oozing throughout its layers. Thick, cold, buttercream frosting with toffee chips on top. Topped with the kind of frosting that melts in your mouth and gives you diabetes. This is my ideal wedding cake.

Ultimately my wedding will be a day of celebration for my partner and I; It will be an announcement of how God brought us together and also our faith in Jesus Christ as our savior.

If you don’t want to bake me a cake, because you feel Jesus had a lot to say about homosexuality (he didn’t), then I don’t want your cake.

It’s probably dry anyway.

In fact, I don’t want to give you my money.

Buying a cake from you would support something so opposite Jesus’ commands.

1. I want a cake that loves its neighbor as itself. (Matt. 22:36-40)

2. I want a cupcake that was made lovingly with the utmost care because we should do everything as if for the Lord. (Colossians 3:23)

I want a cake that I can be proud of at my wedding, not a law suit cake.

Your cake is not kind nor understanding; your cake is hurting the churches ability to show God’s love, your cake is spoiled.

If you see a loving, committed, monogomous, God-honoring relationship as a sin then you can eat your cakes and have them too. 

Wasn’t it Jesus who said: 

“How can you say to a brother, ‘Let me take that cake out of your eye,’ When all this time there is cake in your own eye.”?

Photo Credit: Daniel Nanescu of


9 thoughts on “My (Gay) Wedding: You Can Eat Your Cakes and Have Them Too

  1. Yes, Jesus talked about love many times. He also pointed out that we should “go and sin no more” (John 8:11b) NKJV.

    It is out of love and concern for you, someone who professes a relationship with Jesus Chris,t that I do not ignore your blog. It would be very easy to just move on and remain quiet. I know I risk being called homophobic, a bigot, or other unkind words.

    I am not here to judge anyone, that is left up to Jesus Christ, the only One who has that right.

    Please take the time to read each of these Bible verses. Pray that the Holy Spirit will touch your heart and reveal God’s will for your life. Do not use society to interpret these verses, let the Bible do that.

    Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27, Jude 1:7, and 1 Corinthians 6:9.

    If you still in your heart believe that homosexual acts are not a sin, then live the life you choose, that is your choice. However, if something inside of you tells you that it is wrong, pray for God to tell you how to overcome this sin.

    I am a sinner, like every other human. If I am living in sin and do not recognize it, I hope that a Christian brother or sister will take the time to show me in the Bible what I am doing wrong.

    God Bless!


    1. David! Thanks for stopping by to read my blog and thank you for posting in a loving a respectful way! What a great representation of God!
      I don’t think you’re homophobic nor are you a bigot. You have convictions and you respond in a way that is honorable and kind.
      Thanks for those verses! I ask the same of you, to pray and read over them, and to be sure of what you believe, in their cultural and situational contexts. I’m very familiar with them, as most gay Christians are, and have studied their contexts extensively. Some posts are in the words on these verses already for those who are unfamiliar with their context, look for those! Just as you believe in your interpretation on these verses there are other schools of interpretation as well. The importance and foundation for our faith (which is indisputable) is Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection! Thanks for stopping by!

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Darryl,

        Lovely thoughts. I know the cake article you are talking about. Have you read Matthew Vines’ book “God and the Gay Christian?” It’s written by a young man whose father could not align what he thought the Bible said about homosexuality with his homosexual son; he loved both. So Matthew writes about homosexuality with a very high view of Scripture and goes through each of the verses typically brought up to speak against homosexuality and breaks them down. It’s VERY well done, and maybe you’ll find it affirming for you!

        Keep sharing your thoughts- and I hope you get the wedding (and the cake made with love) that you always dreamed of!


        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lindsey! Thanks for stopping by my little online life. I have heard of that book thought I have not read it yet. There are a number of excellent texts on the theology of homosexuality. I’ll have to add this to my library since I’m always looking for more resources for people who are feeling confused! Thanks for the recommendation.
        I hope so too! I’m pretty sure there will be a lovely cake AND a desert bar because I’m either indecisive or greedy, I’m not sure which.

        Liked by 1 person

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